Marry A Girl Who Poles

30th Sep 2012

Jamaica Pole DancingMarry a girl who poles. Marry a girl who spends her money on pole dance classes instead of clothes. She doesn’t have problems with closet space because her pole wardrobe consists of booty shorts, tank tops and sports bras. Marry a girl who has a pole wish list posted on her vanity mirror, who has watched every single pole video of all the amazing international pole stars, wishing she can do one of their signature pole dancing moves… or two.

Find a girl who poles. You’ll know that she does because she has bruises all over her legs, thighs, and arms but is never too shy to show it off. She even calls it ‘Pole Kisses’ or ‘Badges of Honor’. She’s the one with the pole burns on her wrist and calloused hands from too much pole spinning. You see the weird chick getting all excited when she sees a street pole and does some awesome trick on it? That’s the pole girl. They can never resist poles or anything that can pass for a pole.

She’s the girl who walks with an extra strut when she’s wearing heels. Who moves deliberately and with confidence. She knows how to give you that look, that smile. Like she’s keeping a little secret. In the morning she wears her school uniform, her corporate or business attire. But come night time she has a pole bag with all the things she needs to transform: booty shorts, sports bra, towel, alcohol, grip aide, baby wipes, a water bottle and the most important weapon in her arsenal, her sky high pole shoes.

When on a date with a pole girl, don’t get upset when it seems she’s not interested in your story. Dude, it’s not you. She’s just busy stringing pole tricks trying to make the sickest combo she can think of and she can’t wait to go home and try if it works.

If you want to win a pole girl’s heart, learn how to give respect for what she does. Never ask her if, “she wants to play with your pole”. Believe me, if she had a penny for every time she gets that, she’d be a millionaire. Be ready to carry 15-22kg of chrome/brass/titanium gold. Start watching how-to videos on how to properly assemble, mount and disassemble a portable pole. Be ready to be her stretching partner, pole technician, bouncer, masseuse and #1 fan. Go to youtube and look up Jenyne Butterfly or Dirdy Birdy so you can convincingly tell her, “Honey, you move just like Jenyne Butterfly!” That will definitely make her day.

It’s easy to marry a pole girl. Give her a romper for her birthday, a new, shiny pole for Christmas or pay for her pole classes for a whole year on your anniversary. Hold hands with her despite how calloused her hands are. Caress them, squeeze them because those hands have been through a lot and have done really hard work on the pole.

Marry a girl who poles because you deserve it. If you want a girl whose fit, empowered and inspired, a pole girl is exactly what you need in your life. You deserve a girl who is not afraid of how sexy she is and is confident in everything that she does. If you’re the type who can only give monotony, split hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. But if you want the world and the worlds beyond it, marry a pole girl... Or better yet, if you want more, marry a girl who poles and who is not ashamed to admit that she does.

Photo: Jamaica Jornacion, Story: Rachelle Sarzona